How much do I love you? Enough to let you go…

Her name is Emmersyn. Emme for short. The boyfriend often calls her Emmers. And my non-public nickname for her, the name that she would be so embarrassed if she knew I was telling you, that nickname is McMuffin. She is My McMuffin. The My being very possessive. There’s a story behind the nickname but because I’m sure that Emmersyn would prefer that we all just forget that I told you her nickname I won’t tell you the story. Instead I’ll tell you why I am head over heals in love with this dog.

Why do I love this dog?

First and foremost I love her gentle nature, sweet personality and calm presence. Emmersyn makes it impossible for us not to take her with us whenever we can. Trips to Lowe’s, softball games, the Farmer’s Market and Emme’s favorite trip of all – trips to get ice cream, complete with a small scoop of vanilla ice cream for the dog that very quickly becomes a slobbery fool in anticipation.

I love Emmersyn’s sweetness. The way she loves people. The way she lights up and radiates when she is around people. Emme is totally in her element when she is out in public, when there are people to meet and attention and love to be had. I love, love, love the way that people love her right back and the wonderful example that her big blockhead and personality are setting for her breed.

Why do I love this dog?

I love her playful nature. Emmersyn is a puppy in an adult body but without all of the work of the puppy – no potty training needed, no puppy energy but still the puppy spirit and goofiness.

This is a dog that will throw toys up in the air to herself. A dog that when taken swimming will slap the water with her big ol’ paw and then cock her head to the side in order to catch the water splashes in her mouth…how could you not love that?

Why do I love this dog?

I love the bit of independence that she has, the way that she’ll cuddle for a bit and then move on to her own space. A lapdog Emmersyn is not. She wants love and attention but then she’s also content with her own space bubble. Her independent spirit is very endearing or maybe it’s just that she reminds me of someone I know.

Why do I love this dog?

I love her perpetual happiness. She has the biggest joker grin that she wears all the time for no special reason. To best describe her is to say that she is happy go lucky. She carries no baggage with her and finds joy in all of her life. Emme is a happy girl and who doesn't love a happy girl?

How much do I love this dog?

I love her all the way. That's what we say in our house - love all the way. We love in spite of quirks, in spite of imperfections, we love totally, completely and unconditionally. If you're going to love a dog what's the point of loving any other way? But the truth is that Emme is really not that difficult to love, in fact as I've listed above, she makes it very easy.

Here's the catch though - I love Emmersyn all the way but she's not mine. Well she is mine, she is my foster dog, but she's not technically and officially mine.  Every time that any interest is expressed in Emme it brings tears to my eyes, enough tears to once force me to leave my desk and go sit in my Jeep in the parking lot at work while I collected myself. It's not that I want to keep her, it's that I don't want to let her go. And yes, there really and truly is a difference between the two.

So what will it take to let Emmersyn go? Perfection, or at least as close to perfection as can be found.  What is perfection, what does perfection mean? Check out here to find out.

I love that Emmersyn not only has my arms wrapped around her but that she has the whole of ARLP looking out for her best. That's what I want for a dog who is so easy to love, an angel dog as she once was called, a dog that truly deserves so much more.

And when she does find perfection she’ll break my heart in both sadness and happiness as can only be done when one loves a foster dog the way that I love Emmersyn.


4 thoughts on “How much do I love you? Enough to let you go…

  1. Paige

    Oh Emme, and Michelle!! As tears stream down my face I look down at my own foster, and wonder why I cannot have them all…these dogs they break and heal our hearts at the same time. To know them is to love them, and to love them is to let them go…here’s to all the great times our fosters bring to us, as we wait for their Forever Homes….Thank you Michelle!!

  2. Renee

    I adopted Tinkerbell from A Rotta Love. Shortly after I came across this poem and thought it was just perfect for all who foster animals. Reading your story just now reminded me of why!!!!!

    Dear Foster Mom
    There I sat, alone and afraid,
    You got a call and came right to my aid.
    You bundled me up with blankets and love,
    And, when I needed it most, you gave me a hug.
    I learned that the world was not all that scary and cold,
    That sometimes there is someone to have and to hold.
    You taught me what love is, you helped me to mend,
    You loved me and healed me and became my first friend.
    And just when I thought you’d done all you do,
    There came along not one new lesson, but two.
    First you said, “Sweetheart, you’re ready to go,
    I’ve done all I can, and you’ve learned all I know.”
    Then you bundled me up with a blanket and kiss,
    Along came a new family, they even have kids!
    They took me to their home, forever to stay,
    At first I thought you sent me away.
    Then that second lesson became perfectly clear,
    No matter how far, you will always be near.
    And so, Foster Mom, you know I’ve moved on,
    I have a new home, with toys and a lawn.
    But I’ll never forget what I learned that first day,
    You never really give your fosters away.
    You gave me these thoughts to remember you by,
    We may never meet again, and now I know why.
    You’ll remember I lived with you for a time,
    I may not be yours, but you’ll always be mine.
    Author Unknown

  3. Harmony

    M and E,

    You both are what “True friendship” means! It made me cry but happy tears that you my friend will do everything it takes to see your sweet McMuffin be placed in her forever home. You are a mentor to me someone I look up to. Over the last 2 years I know what you have done,the dogs you have brought in and the ones you have let go and yet you still keep a smile on your face and you alway keep what is most important right in front of ever situation.


  4. Annie

    Even though I have never fostered, I can’t imagine the pain but sort of understand…..I had to let Coco go to heaven and just like you, I sit in the parking lot at work and cry….Look to the skies for another sign, somehow one sign from her was not enough….My heart was mended from her presence in my life, and then broken on July 5th when I lost Coco, why, well we’re still not sure….But at this moment I think I would take a loving family having her, and maybe just one more hug….or one more time she would sing with me….I am so lost, and I am so broken…..and your beautiful Emmersyn is definitely blessed to have you, just as I was and am, blessed forever to have my Coco….I lost all my faith in everything, and that little Coco of mine, from the heavens gave it back…..If you check my pic on Cocos page, you can see her face in the clouds the night she passed away, it was one of many that night but only one was developed, the same face I was working on the page….She is my Miracle, just as Emmersyn is yours….and I guess the tears we cry, are worth all the joy we have…..With Love,
    Annie ~ waiting until I hold my Coco again…..

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